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Helping Teens With Homework
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Pending homework, incomplete homework, tough homework, too much homework…… Difficult to find a complimentary adjective to describe homework. However you describe it, more often than not it does create trouble at home. And lets shatter a popular myth here, even good students find homework bothersome at times and need to be goaded by their parents into doing it. Smaller children can be coerced into doing homework, but what about teenagers? They are too old to be coerced and too young to do homework uncomplainingly just because they know it is good for them. Teens do need their parents' help for their homework, but in a very subtle manner. Help needs to be given but unobtrusively and do not expect credit for it!
Arrange for the right kind of surroundings
No one knows your child's needs better than you do. If he works
better in a place where he can hear voices and he also prefers
to have blaring music in the background. Fine, accept it and let
him work. And if you know your teen gets distracted very easily
by conversation and other noises,
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assume the responsibility of providing him with a place where he
can work peacefully. It is essential that as far as possible you
should be available at home at the time. This will give the teen
the reassuring feeling of having help at hand should he need
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Advance preparation
Take an objective look at any situation around you, you will agree that anything that is planned for in advance does go off smoothly. The same applies to homework too. Always keep a supply of notebooks, maps, pens, pencils, etc. whatever it is that your children use. A pen that does not write or the wrong map can create havoc with homework schedules and the person who is to do the homework. Enlist your teen's help in replenishing stocks.
Self imposed rules
Teenagers have busy lives. It is quite possible that they find that they do not have time for homework. Sit down and draw up a time schedule with their help. Remember it is imperative that the decisions be theirs. Do not impose your viewpoint on them. Self-imposed rules are easier to stick to and a person feels bound to stick to them. Rules made by someone else on the other hand seem unjust and
feel like a burden. Your own experiences will validate the truth in this. Let them set a deadline for finishing homework everyday, and also a punishment if they do not. The cardinal rule- the punishment and the deadline should be of their own making. This will be a challenge to them and at the same time they learn to be responsible for their own actions. So they are not just doing homework but learning important life lessons as well.
Avoid a burnout
Guide them in choosing activities with which they fill their day. A common mistake is filling one's time with various activities and then experiencing a burnout. An urge to try out a wide range of activities is appreciable but careful thought should accompany it. A pragmatic look at time, energy and resource availability - best done by parent and child together, will result in a workable plan. Here again encourage your teenager to weigh options and take decisions by himself. Another life lesson being learnt. Such an exercise will ensure that adequate importance is attached to studies and that enough time is being consciously set apart for it.
Get to know the college and the teachers
It would be a wise idea to pay occasional visits to your teen's college. A well-known fact is that teens are a bit ashamed to see their parents on the campus. Overcome this obstacle by making excuses like canvassing for a cause to visit the college and get acquainted with the teachers. Leave contact numbers with teachers so that you are notified of any negative changes in your ward.
Take help for homework topics
If you are not very comfortable with the subjects your teen is studying, do not avoid them. Sit together and read reference books, look up the net for information and help him sift through it. You stand to gain in two ways by the experience. One you will be spending time with your child and second you add to your repertoire of knowledge. However if this is not possible and you feel your child needs help, do not hesitate to arrange for a teacher who can spare the time to help him.
Provide moral support
In spite of all that you do there may be instances of pending work which attracts disparaging remarks from teachers. Do not set out to help in getting it done. You will be doing the child a disservice. Keep your distance (difficult but necessary) and agree with the fact that it needs to be done. Take care of things like creating a conducive atmosphere, making
favorite snacks and mugs of hot chocolate. Maybe even providing moral support like staying up with him and sitting and doing your work by his side. This way he learns that if he slips up he pays for it. And most probably such a situation will never recur.
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