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Should
you interfere?
Should
you interfere is the main issue, especially where teens are concerned. A
teenager is quite capable of turning around and telling you that you have
no business interfering. Think about it this way - if the outcome of the
situation is going to have a significant negative impact that may harm
your child physically or emotionally, then do intervene, as it is your
duty to protect your child. However if the issue is not too significant
let your child go ahead and experiment and learn. The next time he will be
wiser.
What
do you aim at achieving by using the ‘rod’?
If for some reason you are imposing some rules and restrictions on
your child, just stop and analyze what it is in aid of?
For example - if you want your child to clean up the living room,
why are you asking him to do it? Is it a short goal - because you are
expecting visitors or is it a long-term goal - because you want him to get
into the habit of keeping his surroundings neat and clean? In this case,
if your reason is the latter one then you are justified in using the
‘rod’. In fact, later your child will be grateful to you for having
inculcated the habit in him even if it meant using force. Now this does
not mean that your child should not clean up when visitors are expected.
He should, but the way you ask him to should differ. This is not the time
to blow your top and rant and rave about how messy he is and how he never
listens. A small request for help in the right tone will get you better
results in this case. Reserve your ‘rod’ for inculcating a habit of
cleaning up after every job is over.
The
right kind of upbringing
Children should be molded in such a way that whatever skills and
self-discipline they will need to achieve major personal goals in life
become an intrinsic part of them. Any necessary rules and regulations -
the ‘rod’ in other words - can be imposed on children.
You
may be caught in several tricky situations. If you relax your rules, your
children may better like you. As the children grow, the parent child
relationship also grows. The younger a child, the more dependent and
vulnerable he is. While the child is growing up, it is very essential to
increase the frequency and intensity of communication and change the way
you relate to each other.
Imbibing
the right kind of values is a long process that begins from early
childhood. Letting a child have his own way in the early years and trying
to discipline him later would be difficult for both parents and children.
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