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Our sense of responsibility
The first fact we need to become wise to is that
teenage children do not use drugs only because of peer
pressure; neither can they be forced. They may do it
because their friends are doing it. Here the pressure
may not be force but a triggered desire to try for
themselves. Remember, youngsters are by nature curious
and adventurous. And they are also confused.
Many of us believe that cleansing the school premises
and nearby areas of drug peddlers would ensure security and
immunity for our children. Myths and beliefs like
these simply transfer the onus of responsibility of
doing something about what threatens our teenagers to
outsiders - either the school authorities or
government authorities. First of all, let us remember
that our children need not go looking for outsiders;
the source could well be friends and acquaintances.
Secondly, there is never an upper limit to making our
teenage children aware. Also, there is no substitute to the
communication that we parents can have with our
children.
Be an example
With the concept clear in our minds that we as parents
owe it to our children, let's begins our
education/awareness process with first knowing what
the word 'drug' encompasses. Experts have described
the word 'drug' as a substance that changes the way in
which the body and the mind would ordinarily function.
The term includes legal drugs, over the counter drugs,
illegal drugs and solvents. It incorporates legal
drugs such as alcohol, tobacco and caffeine; illegal
drugs such as heroin, cocaine, LSD and variants of
amphetamines (used to stimulate the central nervous
system); over-the-counter medicines such as paracetamol,
tranquillizers etc ; and, solvents and
mushrooms. (Do remember when referring to specific
substances, we mean those taken without medical
recommendation and consumed beyond normal limits and
frequencies. This is known as prescription drug
abuse.
Doesn't the information automatically increase our
sense of responsibility? Let's ask ourselves whether
we are setting our teenage children the right example?
Psychiatrists and psychologists have said that even
seemingly small problems such as wanting to feel grown
up and feeling restricted in the home environs could
give a child a false sense of security in drug
escapism. Can you imagine what can happen to a child
with major problems in school, college or the
neighborhood?
Be on the alert for drug abuse
Some of the things that could be pointers are powders
in grayish pink, white, yellowish or brown, new
tablets, resins; gas based products, dried leaves,
small mushrooms, burnt tinfoil, tubes, spoons,
syringes, razors, intricately folded pieces of paper,
tiny plastic bags, heating source and so on. If any
parent suspects and fears that his or her child may be
using drugs, he/she could look for these
paraphernalia.
You could also look out for some changes in the
teenager's behavioral pattern. Is there a noticeable
change in the teenager's academic performance? Are
friends remarking about his attendance? Is money going
missing at home? Or, is the teenage child suddenly receiving
large unexplained sums of money from somewhere? Is the
teenager experiencing frequent mood swings? Is he
suddenly and unpredictably sleepy, restless,
aggressive and/or irritable? Are his movements
furtive? Again, let us remember that while these are
pointers, they do not necessarily translate to drug
abuse. We have to tread very carefully.
Be wary of jumping to conclusions and talk to the
teenager first. Take professional help, if you feel you
cannot handle it. Remember not to get aggressive and
accusing. You may end up pushing him in the wrong
direction.
How to talk and what to talk
A very tricky issue. You are under strain and it is
bound to show in your tone, physical expressions and
choice of words. For starters, begin talking to the
teenager when he or she is least expecting it and is prepared
with answers. And both you and the child should be in a
communicative mood.
You could begin with something as seemingly innocuous
as the day in school, the football final, the teachers,
and so on. Choose a topic, which the teenage child will feel
comfortable talking about. Slowly veer him.
When you are directly discussing with the child, don't
pretend to know more than you do. He or she is bound to fill
in. Avoid asking questions to which the answers will
be what you are expecting to hear. For example,
instead of asking whether the child is feeling
restless and disturbed, you could ask him how he or
she is
feeling. Let the questions be open-ended. Allow the
child to express. Let him talk, rather than you
delivering a presentation on your convictions. That is
the only way the teenage child will open out. However, you can
freely exchange opinions, without being intimidating
or dominating. It is a very fine thread that you will
be treading on. Don't let it snap.
Earn his or her trust. And more importantly respect it. There
should be no ambiguity to the message: I am with you
and we shall handle it together.
What you can do to prevent teenage drug abuse
As said earlier, be an example parent. When you tell
your child no to alcohol, it is simply not allowed in
the house. If you are taking it outside, be honest
with the child. The child will begin to relate to you
as a human being.
Secondly, anticipate any tricky situations and lay the
ground rules covering all aspects. Such as the time to
return from parties, how the teenager goes and comes
back, with whom and so on. There's nothing wrong
with it.
What to do when your teenage child is using drugs
First of all, win his/her confidence. And show him you
care. Be there physically for him as much as you can
manage it. There are very few things that can be more
important than this issue. Take him to the physician,
psychiatrist and any expert whose help is required.
Get him or her the right drug abuse treatment.
He/she
might require drug rehab. Get him admitted to a good rehab
center based on the advice of a doctor.
Secondly, while you may hesitate wondering what
neighbors and family may say, please do not give it
undue importance for the sake of the child. If someone
can help, fine, otherwise you could still go ahead and
do what you think is best for your child.
Lastly, do accept that you are a human being with your
limitations and that you are being stretched and
stressed. Take help for yourself. You do not have to
believe that you are a super human. Remember the
immediate need is being a super parent. Do acknowledge
that it is a challenge that calls for professional
help and do not delay or deny it to the child. |
