The worst offence a parent can commit is to
punish or admonish a girl who confides that she is having trouble
with the opposite sex. When a girl complains of harassment, sexual
or not, major or minor, it is an unfortunate fact that it is she who
is blamed; while the male harassing her faces no censure. Since women, young and old are often
victims of their feminity, don’t let your daughter become a victim
just because you don't give her your support.
As a parent, leave yourself open to
confidence; in homes where the parent child relationship is close,
children share all their problems with and get guidance and support
from their parents.
Moreen, found she was being followed by a
boy on the way to school. When told, her mother accompanied her to
the bus stop for two three days. The boy disappeared.
Eleven year old Danice disliked her Maths
teacher caressing her thighs during their tuition sessions. When she
informed her parents, they immediately discontinued her tuitions and
saved Danice from what would have surely turned into abuse.
When parents and children interact closely,
sharing most of their day to day happenings, it keeps the parents
informed of their activities and an informal monitoring and
supervision is made possible.
If you can't talk and share with your child
you will not recognize that something is amiss in her life. Take the
case of Corliss, who could not bring herself to tell her parents
about the shameful advances her so-called uncle was making. It began
with him squeezing her arms or caressing her back, and as she didn't
protest, one day when her parents were away, he came in on the
pretext of making a phone call and abused her. Still keeping quiet
from fear, she left herself open to continuing abuse till she got
pregnant and was ostracized.
Every parent endeavors to give her best to
her child, financially, emotionally, mentally, physically and
socially. A parent's life changes with the birth of a child and she
goes through anxiety as well as joy. Yet, when a certain problem
arises, all fingers point at the parent because though she tries her
level best, she is not born with the knowledge of parenting. When
Roger came home with the news that he had come second in the class
his mother wanted to know why he hadn’t come first. The mother
feared that if she congratulated him on coming second, he would
never try to stand first. But Roger on the other hand was hurt and
disappointed that he was not appreciated. This is where the
communication gap increases. A problem like this arises because as
parent's we think that by criticism, ridicule and comparison; we are
helping our children develop better. But the fact is that children
are averse to adults who are not supportive and encouraging. As they
say there is no sure shot foolproof way of parenting. A parent is
also at a loose end sometimes.
Parents do not know how far to go or how
much to give in, while dealing with their children. Added to this is
the influence of mass media and literature that often offers
conflicting options to those of parent's. Values and modes of
behavior are also changing. What were meaningful and relevant
parenting truths in earlier days are redundant now. Updated parent
education is the need of the hour.
Parental support and close interaction is
crucial for the welfare of the child. This needs to be built up from
the beginning when the child is young and is keen on telling the
parent every little thing he did. Spending qualitative time with
your child is essential. They need to be constantly reassured that
the parent is always there for them.
A timely session of parent-child
interaction could save you a lot of unneeded tension later in life.
Make time for it today. And tomorrow and the day after!