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Dad And Mom - Please Don't Fight
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A bitter cry from a petrified,
agonized toddler. A very common scenario in many a household today. The increasing pressures at work, higher expectations from relationships and low tolerance amongst spouses have resulted in constant bickering, fights, squabbles and thunderous arguments. Such a volatile atmosphere is not conducive for any child. The mental and psychological impact on the innocent mind is irreparable. So parents think before you raise your voices!
For several years psychologists have been persistently saying that quarrelling
parents can cause lifelong damage to their child . Watching parents fight constantly makes the little ones more aggressive and less popular at school. Research has proved that a child is not emotionally satisfied if relations are sour at home. These children have poor interpersonal relations and
behavioral problems. Children of argumentative parents react badly to emotional situations in their own life.
Counselors are of the opinion that the male child is likely to be more aggressive and easily provoked by trivial matters. An alarming situation indeed! |
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Every relationship has its ups and downs. Unfortunately, marriage is one of the relations where the graph is unstable. And most often the parents are so engrossed trying to prove each other wrong and nailing down their grievances to each other that they overlook the innocent spectator next to them who is grasping everything. It is only later when the abuses and
aggressiveness is replayed by the child, that one thinks "Where did I go wrong?" No parent should go through this situation. Being cautious would be sensible.
A child sometimes also feels responsible for such a verbal disaster. Very often it is noticed that he asks for apology from the parents after an argument. Some want an immediate stop to it and therefore are seen pulling their parents away from each other; unfortunate scenes for a child to see. He deserves a better environment.
Though child psychologists explain that the children do need to be exposed to some conflict to learn the important lessons of life, it should not be of an intense magnitude.
Parents being the idols for children should steer away and argue out of sight and ears of the children. It is important to understand the agony of this little thing and place oneself in his little shoes. Discussing the problem with your spouse when the child is asleep is a better option. Indeed a parent in a fit of rage in an aggravated situation may blow up and
realize the repercussions later. In that case making your child understand that it is a temporary fight may ease out a tensed child. The more aggressive and unresolved arguments parents have the more complex and unpopular the children are likely to be. In other words if they see harmony and love it engenders a responding love in them that wants them to become grown ups like their parents. This is the main leverage parents have in controlling or motivating their children. If parents don't have this reciprocal tie with their children they are helpless. There is nothing one can do if they are defiant as it is seen in many psychiatric clinics. Some people think of love as meaning simply the expression of physical and emotional affection. Parental love is multi dimensional. It's wanting the children to grow up to be responsible citizens and successful individuals. It is reminding them everyday how to behave to become that kind of person. There are many aspects to managing and motivating children, the example set by parents, sincerity amongst the parents, their consistency, their self assurance, their respect for children and their manner of punishment. But the unconditional love for their children and the responsive love of their children for them is by far the most important.
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