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A
toddler is subjected to grueling interviews on alphabets , numerals and
phonetics - topics that a child is expected to grasp at a later stage.
Preparations for these sessions put a lot of pressure on the child. This
affects the growth of the child as only one area is being concentrated
upon, leaving no time for play or emotional and social development.
Very
often many days of work and no play makes this little toddler a dull boy
and the interview session backfires. He refuses to answer at that possible
moment though he can recite poems and identify most of the colors. The
entire exercise just results in a tongue tied little fellow. A vicious
circle follows - parents react feeling insecure, they unconsciously make the
child feel inadequate. George a bright boy was made to go through such
academic grilling at an age where he just wanted to play. The interview
was a disaster. Little George refused to answer, cried and misbehaved.
Parents had to finally admit him into a school not really of their choice.
Today George barely gets a passing grade, is disinterested and his
performance in every field is low. Is it really worth making the child go
through an exercise like this that hampers long term growth?
There
are children who are shy by nature. They are viewed as behaving naturally
in any other situation, but in an increasingly competitive school system,
such behavior is nothing short of a "mistake" and a costly
one too.
Child
psychiatrists strongly feel that the education system in India needs to be
revamped drastically. It has only increased stress which manifests itself
in the form of "school phobia" i.e. aversion to school and
studies. The children need to be reared in a loving atmosphere where the
child can develop talents, which in turn can build confidence, and self
esteem. The urgent need of the day is play therapy where psychiatrists can
observe children while they are at play. Although school phobia is a
mental ailment, the symptoms are manifested physically, most common of
them being headaches, stomachaches, loss of appetite, pain in the limbs,
nausea and vomiting. A child brought up in a loving, nurturing, confident
and interactive atmosphere is less likely to be school phobic.
It
is observed that the pressure of getting their children admitted into a
school of choice also changes parents behavioral pattern adversely. In
order to improve the child's performance they set precedents of bribing.
It is always better to reward a child unexpectedly after a job well done
rather than to offer that carrot on a stick beforehand. Parents want
things done faster and without any resistance. By proffering bribes they
are only making the child want material things in exchange of studying.
And unjustified rewards are not needed. The parents also resort to extra
coaching which weighs down on the child further. Parents are often
untruthful about their addresses to procure admission and they train the
child also accordingly. Will not the child make the most of this
experience as an excuse for being untruthful if he is found in a Catch 22
situation? It is futile then to preach "Being untruthful is being
immoral". So lets teach them values and not get them anxious about
admissions into good schools.
As
the distribution of forms for new admissions have begun, parents are being
educated again on many aspects of the admission game including interview,
tests, Donations and the works. But can we keep away from all this and
think more of the well being of our child?
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